cutting the grass that's greener (reprise)

Love can conquer pretty much everything it seems. The following post was written in November 2004. I chose to alter the names of those involved.


Bizarre happenings last night. Sandra's roommate Sheila is a good close friend of hers, and she has been seeing this guy Mike for the past 7 months. They have had their problems but according to my fiancee they have gotten over them. Being a typical guy, I'm only half listening when she tells me about the situation, but I paid enough attention to know that he spends long periods of time away from her when with a bit of effort on his part they could be together. The fact that made me laugh was that he would constantly leave the flat early on a Saturday morning because he had to drive all the way home to "cut the grass". With that I privately christened him The Lawnmower Man.

And so Sandra and I were in Liffey Valley Shopping Center last night. We were to see a movie, The Grudge, at 7pm. We got there an hour early, and split up as her appetite for shopping was matched by mine for dinner. I devoured a KFC variety meal and decided to go down to Virgin Megastore to browse around for a while until our rendez-vous outside the theatre.

I first thought I spied Mike as I was walking out of the store. I paused because I had only met him a few times and would say hello, but then realized he was with another girl. My first instincts were (a) maybe it's not him and (b) maybe he's not "with" the girl. The latter doubt was erased when she leaned over and appeared to kiss him. That just left a positive ID to be made, so I rang Sandra and told her to get over to Virgin asap.

She was trying on a coat at the time and thought I was in some sort of trouble, so apparently she got into all kinds of contortions to get herself out of the designer label item and over to me. By then Mike and the girl were at the counter making a purchase, so I waited outside. I told her what I had seen, and with that the couple came out and went into the shoe shop next door. I advised Sandra not to make a scene, and she followed them in to be sure it was him. She went in and actually said hello to him, and reported that his face went twenty shades of red when he saw her. To her credit she didn't accuse him of anything, and they simply exchanged pleasantries.

That left us with the dilemma of what to do with the information. I persuaded Sandra to call Sheila first and see where she thought her boyfriend was before she told her anything.

After the phone call we realized we had to forego the cost of the flick and drive back to the apartment to be with her. Seemingly Sheila was at home alone that evening because Mike was “too tired” to drive over and see her and was heading home straight from work for an early night. His last phone call to her came less than half an hour before we spotted him in the shopping centre.

And with that we stayed up chatting until the early hours along with the other flatmate Billie and 5 bottles of wine. It was about 10pm when Sheila gathered up the courage to send an accusatory text. He proceeded to call and text and call and text declaring his innocence. She would not answer the calls, and Billie, Sandra and I took turns reading out the texts. I won't go into his defense word for word, but I have to tell you one part of it.

We had gone through a re-enactment of the kiss in the store and I conceded that it could have been a case of her kissing him; he had his back to me so I didn't actually see his part of the exchange.

So after Sheila told him in a text that he had been "seen kissing", he replied by saying it wasn't a kiss, they were just fooling around, and "all I did was lick her face a bit."!!!!!!!!

Sandra and Billie are both convinced she will forgive him and believe whatever he eventually says. We will see. Perhaps public face-licking is acceptable these days, sometimes it's hard to keep up!!!


The next day, Mike came over to the flat and pleaded his case. After a long discussion up in his girlfriend’s room, he went downstairs and told Sandra how “angry” he was with her. Seemingly she should have asked him in the busy shopping centre for an explanation. She stood her ground and said she was just reporting what we had seen to her friend.

Not once have I personally set eyes on this guy since. Believe me, it’s not on account of any policy on my part.

The couple now have a house together. I sincerely wish them all the best. It will be very interesting to see if I am invited to the wedding if and when it happens!!!


ernestina jeffingway said…
And the moral of the story is: Sometimes your friends dont need to know!

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