I love stories like this one from Reuters’ Oddly Enough Files about New Zealand's dumbest criminals…
Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm Monday ended up setting fire to their own car.
Police said the trio had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle. When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter.
One click, a boom and the car burst into flames.
"It wasn't a major whodunnit," senior sergeant Ross Gilbert told Reuters, from the small North Island town of Waipukurau, about 140 miles northeast of Wellington.
"Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity."
The men, aged 18 to 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.
It reminds me of another one I heard a while ago, something about a well-known criminal from Puerto Rico who, having escaped to America, got a bit cocky and called the detective inspector he eluded back home to gloat. The officer admitted defeat, and asked the thug to give him his address so he could send on his paperwork. The moron complied, and Miami PD were on his doorstep within half an hour. You just gotta wonder.
It also makes you think about those who are clever enough to pull off major heists – if they are that intelligent, would their odds of a successful life be that much greater in the (ahem) “legitimate” world?