Saturday, July 30, 2005

parts, both car and bodily

Dual Stromberg carburetors – was he on to something?

Trying your best to perfect your writing skills via your blog so that maybe one day you can make some money from it?

Maybe this little tit-bit from Reuters’ Oddly Enough files will have you thinking in a different direction…


A Microsoft analyst has won an annual contest celebrating bad writing by comparing fixing carburetors to fondling a woman's breasts.

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual," went Dan McKay's winning entry in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

McKay, 43, of North Dakota was said by organizers on Thursday to be visiting China "perhaps to escape notoriety for his dubious literary achievement." He wins $250.



Now I can’t see myself doing a trashy romance novel anytime soon, but if I ever do, I guarantee you all the breasts are gonna be way better than “ample”…

So a computer nerd sees boobies to be like car parts … I guess second prize in the contest went to a gay motor mechanic from Schenechtady who describes how a floppy disk can turn into a hard drive…

6 comments:

Anna said...

Schenechtady, so much fun to say! Makes my tongue curl like a...stone skimming ice...sliding smoothly into the house...will it hit the button...will it stick...breath held...shaft aloft...

Anna said...

How's that for bad?

fairygirl701 said...

OMG! that is just too much!!

Gaye said...

How funny!!! I like the word Schenechtady too--makes me wanna skip instead of walk!!

James Howard Shott said...

Actually, what deserves the award is not so much the writing, but the concepting.

As for floppies turning into hard drives, that concept deserves some kind of award.

Jim said...

Schenectady. . . shaft aloft. . .

Geez, all's I can think of is Slippery Rock!

Cheers!