Tuesday, May 24, 2005

no matter how

No matter how much I want to be good I have to be bad
No matter how much I want to stay sane I have to go mad
No matter how much I want to tell the truth I know I have to lie
No matter how much I want to stay alive one day I have to die

Sorry if I depress ya
Sorry if I annoy ya
With all this talk of death despair
Pain and paranoia

But when reality
Gets the better of me
Darkness is all that I can see

No matter how loud I’m screamin
I can’t shout down these demons in my soul
They’re out of control
Demons in my soul

No matter how much I want to be normal I have to be odd
No matter how much I’d rather play human I have to play God
No matter how hard I try to save money I always lose interest
No matter how much I want to stay faithful I must have a mistress

Sorry if I offend ya
Sorry I have to warn ya
About all this talk of sex evil
Hate and California

But then reality
Gets the better of me
With darkness as far as I can see

No matter how loud I’m screamin
I can’t shout down these demons in my soul
They’re out of control
Demons in my soul

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught like a deer in the headlights
As I’m choosing a road I can follow
But if I were to do what I thought right
Would I choke on the pride I must swallow?

Demons in my soul



© JL Pagano 1997


click here for a full index of my poetry and song lyrics

6 comments:

fairygirl701 said...

WOw, that is really good!!

shandi said...

Wow...is right!!! At first I thought I was reading lyrics to a song I was supposed to know...but never do...because I'm musically illiterate...and I end up feeling stupid...cause it's like the national anthem or something. :) Then I noticed that you wrote this in 1997. Seriously WOW!!! Very good. Wondering what's behind it though.

Jim said...

Whoa! Good catch Shandi! I glossed over that. JL- Hope you don't mind if, as I began to read this, I began hearing metal riffs in the back of my mind. Good ol' Judas Priest style riffs (Breakin' the law, breakin' the law...)

JL Pagano said...

Thanks everyone. I have a lot of stuff I wrote down the years to fill in the days when I have nothing really to post.

This song was penned during my "new-dad-seeing-the-world-in-a-new-light" phase.

It was more a reaction to the realities of the world as I saw it than a response to a particular event.

Jim - I just put the words down, and it's up to other people to interpret them as they see fit, so of course I don't mind. The song itself, however, is much slower with a bass piano background and a simple elec guitar overlay.

shandi said...

metal riffs??? bass piano??? elec guitar overlay??? Judas Priest??? Is he catholic?
Told ya I was illiterate :)
The new song is also very good. You're quite talented.
Do you play a musical instrument?
Or...do you hear the music in your mind?

JL Pagano said...

The mind thing mostly, though I can handle a keyboard.