Monday, May 02, 2005

method acting in his madness???



“What??? Gandalf doing Corrie??? That’s like, that’s like…..”

“Uh-oh, here we go…..”

Help me, Blogland, and don’t let me down.

I need analogies, and I need ‘em fast.

Monday night is “watch the British soap operas with the girlfriend” night. I know. But in my defence, guys, it was either that or “Desperate Housewives Tuesday”, and, well, there’s Champions League soccer on Tuesdays.

Anyway, her favourite soap and probably the best known of the genre this side of the pond is called “
Coronation Street” (affectionately known as “Corrie”), and is set in a working class area of Manchester in northern England. A very, very humble working class area of Manchester in northern England. So humble it makes Walton’s Mountain look like DisneyWorld.

Goddam, why couldn’t I think of something like that an hour ago???

ANYWAY….imagine my surprise when I see someone very familiar acting in Corrie.

“Is that…”

Ian McKellen? Yeah, he’s been in it for the past few days.”

“Nooo…..that can’t be him…he’s a classical actor!!!”

“It is! I’m telling you!”

“What???
Gandalf doing Corrie??? That’s like, that’s like…..”

“Uh-oh, here we go…..”

“What?”

“Here you go with a string of funnies….come on, let’s hear them!”

Nothing.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I take your point, I won’t interrupt the show.”

“No, no, I was only kidding! Come on, let’s have them!”

“I’ll tell you later.”

Between you and me, I had nothing.

As I drove home, of course, they started to come…

“like hiring a stretch limo to get drive thru McDonald’s”

“like having Pope Benedict do my son’s First Holy Communion mass this Saturday”

“like entering Stephen Hawking in a spelling bee”

And now, they won’t stop.

And so, I must pass on the baton if I am to get any sleep tonight.

Class, I want at least a dozen gems on my desk by tomorrow morning. Greenwich Mean Time, that is…

5 comments:

shandi said...

Like:
"Having Leonardo da Vinci do a sketch of your bulldog"

"Having your driver's license photo taken by Ansel Adams"

"Like serving a 1787 Chateau d'Yquem with beanie weanies"

"Like using the Declaration of Independence to wipe your arse"

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I got nothing. I suck at analogy.

But I'm gonna be a renowned author some day, just you wait!

Buffalo said...

Hmmmm. A bit of a snob, are you not? Yes, I do believe my Irish friend may just be guilty of that charge.

JL Pagano said...

Shandi, to the top of the class with you, they are brilliant. Nice use of the word "arse" btw - nice to see PBS is still doin its thing ;-)

Sex, a good writer that sucks at analogies is like a...like a...er, I'll get back to you on that one, ok?

Buffalo, when it comes to acting, yes I guess I am a bit of a snob. He's only doing the show for a couple of weeks though, and to be fair, it has always been a desire for him to appear, and seemingly he had to turn down a role years ago. I was more interested in the pertinent analogies to be honest.

smee said...

Like having Sir John Gielgud mime.