Friday, October 08, 2004

blah blah blah

Met the good crowd last night. Told ya!

Plans for today include cleaning up the house, picking up the kids from school, collecting sandra from work, going back to hers, then going out for dinner with her and her two flat mates for a meal to celebrate our engagement.

Sandra has had several advances from men over the past few weeks. One was from the brother of a bloke she went out with last summer while we were "on our break". I have to really control the part of my brain that controls paranoia when I think of this story. She planned a girls night out with flatmate Suzanne and they were to go to Cafe En Seine, which was her main haunt for the aforementioned summer. Sandra told me beforehand that she had a funny feeling the ex Andrew was going to be there. Turns out the next day that instead the brother was there and that he chatted her up the whole night. Paranoia says : Why did she let him chat to her the whole night? What really happened? Yesterday, he rings her in work, asking her to go for lunch. Of course she said no, and not to call her again. He knew where she worked because she dated his brother, so I can't fault her there. What's bothering me is that fact that it's bothering me. She is an absolute stunner, and this is not the last time she is going to get an offer from a bloke, especially one with a lot more money than I have, not to mention a lot less baggage. Every time she goes out without me I will be insecure. How long can I go on like that? Tomorrow night I have the kids, and Sandra and two of her workmates are booking a night in a hotel to go out on the piss. I don't smoke hash anymore so I guess I will have to buy some beer or something to let me sleep through the night. This is not a good way for someone to feel when he has just gotten engaged. I have to do something. I don't know what. And what is more we are still at the same scenario as we were when we lived together. I suggested the possibility of her coming over to me some Saturday evening when I have the kids and watching a movie after which I could drop her home after they fall asleep. Not a thrilling evening's entertainment by any means, but at least it would show appreciation for the fact that I have responsibilities. I'm an insecure prick and should just get over it, shouldn't I???

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